Just When I Thought Things Couldn't Get Any Worse..(12/6/06)
...They get better. The last two days have made me completely rethink everything. They've just gone so smoothly and Caterina has been so nice, and everything has been just perfect. I've been having all the time in Florence that I want, and in the evenings Caterina has been helping me with dinner and even a miracle of miracles happened! She made Leone and Virginia help clean up after dinner one night! And then tonight, I made dinner and Caterina actually complimented my cooking! And then after we ate we all sat around watching Fight Club in italian and it was...nice. I don't know what the difference is, but it seems like this is how it should be. I'd like to think that maybe Caterina is realizing that not everything that goes wrong is my fault, that I'm actually competent to do things, etc. but we'll see how long it lasts. I still don't know if I'm invited to come back after Christmas (Although I'm kind of assuming I am, based on the raise and all) or if I even want to come back. What do I do??
...They get better. The last two days have made me completely rethink everything. They've just gone so smoothly and Caterina has been so nice, and everything has been just perfect. I've been having all the time in Florence that I want, and in the evenings Caterina has been helping me with dinner and even a miracle of miracles happened! She made Leone and Virginia help clean up after dinner one night! And then tonight, I made dinner and Caterina actually complimented my cooking! And then after we ate we all sat around watching Fight Club in italian and it was...nice. I don't know what the difference is, but it seems like this is how it should be. I'd like to think that maybe Caterina is realizing that not everything that goes wrong is my fault, that I'm actually competent to do things, etc. but we'll see how long it lasts. I still don't know if I'm invited to come back after Christmas (Although I'm kind of assuming I am, based on the raise and all) or if I even want to come back. What do I do??
posted by J.B.K. at 5:55 PM
8 Comments:
i think you should check into these other jobs cause they would be better than working for people who are most likely plotting against you. i think whats happened is that you have shown them that you are not a doormat and they can scream at you but you wont take it. thats why they are being nice for now. ideally if you did get another job, couldnt you go back to italy. also could the au pair people find you another home?
LOL at "plotting against you"... I agree. You should find another job. I think its too late. They have treated you like crap, and a couple of good days just before then end can't make up for it. Try to find another job as much as you can before you leave. If you can't, then come home. But I wouldn't quit this one yet, that way when you go back you will still have this crap which is probably better than nothing, and you can use that time to find something better. You went to get the experience of living in Italy and I bet you are missing out on a lot of it because you are stuck with these nuts. You're smart, you have learned a good chunk of the language, you have made friends. You would easily have the ability to find a job doing at least something that would be good enough to get you by until something better comes along.
That's just my opinion inexperienced as it may be.
I agree. It seems they are actually realizing, like you said, that not having you around would be tough for them. I think they deserve to experience the reality.
Just because they seem to have changed their ways.. it doesn't detract from how they've treated you up until now.
Yea! Come back for winter break. And, if you plan to return to Italy, it seems like you could find a better job. You don't have any ties or responsibilities to this crazy family..
Why do battered women go back to the men who abuse them? A little loving and cuddling and saying I'm sorry, feels good at the time, but then the cycle starts all over again. Don't fall for it. There will be a big difference between this job and any other. You will have to pay rent on a n apartment, you will probably have to deal with a variety of unfamiliar things like public transportation. You will have to be providing your own food. You will have to make enough money to cover all these extra expenses. There will probably be problems that come up because you have no work permit.
If you can find another job, that will be good, but make sure that it will cover all these new expenses. Do your homework. Figure out how you are going to deal with these things and how much it will cost. Look for an apartment. Even if you don't know where you're going to need to live, see what's involved in renting a place. Will they rent to foreigners? How much does a typical apartment rent for? I wouldn't tell them that I'm not coming back. I don't think you owe them that courtesy after the way they have treated you, plus they haven't committed to you, either. If you can't find another job, then I don't think it's the end of the world. You've had a great adventure anyway. I've found that even experiences much less pleasant and interesting than yours become character building episodes with the passage of time. Did I ever tell you about when I worked in the brick factory?
When one door closes, another opens. "Onward through the Fog."
be open to the possibility of a better job, always. the decision will be clear to you when the time comes to make it. (despite my attempts, i still feel i sound like a fortune cookie)
I agree with all these messages, but mostly with Matt and your dad. After all, I think we know you a little bit. You should find another job. It's hard to realize when you're young, but you don't have to put up with crap from employers. You have a right to enjoy your work. Think about if you had a real au pair job--coaching some little kid in English who looked up at you with adoration in his eyes, or building a house in some poor village where the people were needy, but proud and dignified. Think how you'd feel each night when you went to sleep. And then look at this job,
where you are yelled at, overworked, critized and never complimented. I don't care who hires you or what their position in life is, they do not have the right to treat you like dirt. You do not have to take it. Like your dad said, it's abuse. You need a position where you work hard, but your efforts are noticed and appreciated. Actually, we all need that. But that's another blog.
Make a plan that will work for you. Look very hard to find something you might like better, make a budget of what salary you would need for your own place, and leave a resume with everyone you interview with. (Can you work in Italy, legally?)When we hear from Ailea, she's ecstatic (of course, she might be in luuuv), but you know she's also having wonderful experiences. You are not, and it's because of these people.
What does Anna recommend? Has she had experience with these people before? Have other au pairs quit?
Come home for Christmas, anyway. We all miss you.
Love,
Standing up for yourself bought you some respect from these folks. Sometimes that is what it takes. People will only do to you what you allow - in most cases. I hope you get to stay in Italy. It suits you, and I get the feeling you aren't finished there yet.
I agree. I don't think you're quite finished there yet either. I think you should go back for sure no matter what else happens.
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